Some day, spam will once again refer only to a canned meat product. Meanwhile, I hereby crumble under the onslaught and declare that I will read no more email filtered out as spam. Anything landing in my junk folder will stay there until deleted, unseen and not acknowledged.

I'm taking my time back and will no longer dig through the dreck just to make sure something I actually want got routed into the sewer. I really do answer legitimate email, so if anyone reading this has sent me an email and received no reply, just pick up the phone.

This decision will be costly, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice. No longer will I have the opportunity to get cheap drugs, enhance my maleness to the size of a redwood tree, lose my house to refinance loan sharks, gamble away my money in online casinos, rid myself of debt for free, get fleeced in some pyramid scheme, etc.

And for fun, here are a few senders and subject lines I plucked out as particularly bad examples. I simply can't fathom how any of this actually results in anyone responding, but they must or it wouldn't continue. Maybe if nobody showed up, the party would end.

Senders:
Expletives S. Blacktopped
Warner H. Jukeboxes
Horsewoman T. Disembarking
yourself Ohbut
Mzgprolusion occurred
Pdimmitt hoolehua
Ballast G. Handsomeness
Jackrabbit A. Expediently
Charaine Bitcheroo
Ardythe Ass
habits Passmark
Melpomene D. Oblations

Subject Lines:
In Ayurveda, eczema is known as Vicharchika.
which staggeringly
jet engine meter maid
her in mattawamkeag
ApatheticI Bexuanmai visual
on bootlegged himself repertoire
Dilabetes Medilcines
coyote than tuxedo
Chollesterol medicinels
Alternative to high prives
the whole shebang you requirement at a low punishment.
It shadbush so glutamic